249. Soft Strength (Let’s Talk About Being A Karen)

In this episode, I explore the concept of soft strength—a way to hold boundaries, advocate for yourself, and navigate difficult situations without aggression or emotional dysregulation. Too often, women are labeled as “too much” when they stand up for themselves or “people pleasers” when they don’t. But there’s a middle ground: a way to be strong without force, and firm without anger. I share personal experiences, client insights, and practical strategies to help you step into your power while staying true to yourself.

Timestamps & Key Takeaways:

[00:00 – 02:00] Introduction

• How the idea of soft strength came up in my coaching and content creation process
• Strength doesn’t always have to be aggressive—there are different ways to embody it

[02:01 – 05:30] The Stigma Around Women’s Strength

• The world often labels strong women as “Karens” or “bitches,” making it harder to advocate for ourselves
• There is nothing wrong with being assertive, but there’s also power in a softer approach
• The balance between pushing through and holding space for yourself

[05:31 – 09:45] Advocating for Yourself Without Emotional Dysregulation

• Strength is not about demanding or yelling—it’s about clarity and self-trust
• How to hold firm boundaries without feeling the need to justify or explain yourself
• The power of approaching boundaries from a place of calm, rather than anger

[09:46 – 14:30] Boundaries in Difficult Relationships

• How boundaries often come up in co-parenting, breakups, and family dynamics
• The difference between setting a boundary from a place of anger vs. a place of self-respect
• Why boundaries aren’t about controlling the other person, but about how you will respond

[14:31 – 17:50] Giving People Back Their Own Feelings

• The tendency to take responsibility for other people’s emotions
• Why we try to “fix” people’s feelings and how it disconnects us instead of bringing us closer
• How to shift from emotional responsibility hoarding to true, open support

[17:51 – 21:30] The Power of Soft Strength in Real-Life Situations

• Personal story: Navigating my mother’s illness and seeing how people tried to “fix” the grief
• The difference between holding space for someone versus trying to change their experience
• The kind of support that truly makes a difference in hard times

[21:31 – 23:00] Final Thoughts & Next Steps

• Soft strength is about showing up as the version of yourself that you want to be
• How to journal on where you can embrace soft strength in your life
• Invitation to book a free consult for 1:1 coaching: amandahess.ca/bookacall

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