Why You Don’t Have a Self-Love Problem, But a Shame Problem

Here’s this episode: I’m going after the thing nobody wants to name.

Everyone tells you the problem is that you don’t love yourself enough. It’s not. The problem is shame. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Shame is what shows up the second you’re anything less than perfect, and every single human on the planet has it — but women get handed a bigger pile of it. We’re taught to feel shame about our bodies, our parenting, our work, the way we take up space in a room.

So no, I’m not going to tell you to love yourself harder. I’m going to ask you to look at the shame first.

I get into where it actually shows up — standing at a party feeling like you don’t belong, swallowing what you were about to say in a meeting because some part of you decided it wasn’t worth hearing. I tell you about my own. Because you can’t love your way past something you won’t look at.

Self-love isn’t a place you arrive at. It’s what happens when you stop running from your shame and get to know it instead. That’s how you get your power back.

Takeaways:

• Self-love isn’t about lacking shame; it’s about embracing and navigating through it effectively.
• Shame is a universal experience; we all feel it, but it’s how we handle it that matters.
• We’re socialized to feel shame, especially as women, which can sabotage our self-worth and happiness.
• True self-love is an active, ongoing process, not just a one-time affirmation in front of a mirror.

Links referenced in this episode:

• amandahess.ca/bookacall