50 Years in This Nervous System: 10 Lessons for Sensitive Women

EP 302

I turned 50 this week.

And I’ll be honest — this birthday feels different.

There’s awareness.
There’s fear.
There’s grief.
And there’s a level of self-trust I would have begged for in my twenties.

In this episode, I’m starting a 5-part series sharing 50 things I know at 50 about being a sensitive woman in 2026 — not just how to survive, but how to thrive.

Today, I’m giving you the first 10.

These are the foundational lessons — the ones about your nervous system, your emotions, your responsibility, and your capacity.

Because if you don’t understand how you’re wired, you will misunderstand your entire life.

In This Episode, I Cover:

  • Why sensitivity is not a flaw (even if it’s been treated like one)
  • How your nervous system drives your reactions
  • Why emotions are messengers — not problems
  • The difference between regulation and suppression
  • Why other people are not responsible for your feelings
  • How to stop fucking yourself over
  • Why joy must be cultivated
  • How to move with fear instead of shrinking from it
  • Why friendship takes work (especially at midlife)
  • What loving yourself actually requires
  • Why focusing on what you want MORE of changes everything

Key Takeaway

Being a sensitive woman in 2026 is not about hardening yourself.

It’s about building emotional capacity.

It’s about regulating your nervous system instead of reacting from it.

It’s about becoming unwilling to betray yourself.

Turning 50 hasn’t made me less sensitive.
It’s made me more skilled.

And skill changes everything.

Continue the Series

This is Part 1 of a 5-part birthday series:
50 Things I Know at 50 About Being a Sensitive Woman in 2026

Stay tuned for Part 2 next week.

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.

Send me a message on Instagram: @theamandahess

Or visit www.amandahess.ca to learn more about working together.

Stay Connected

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

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Full Episode Transcript:

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Big Girls Do Cry — Transcript

Hey. Okay. I’m just, um, I’m gonna record this off the cuff today, and I just thought I wanna talk about it because most of my clients are like me.

And one of the things that is true for my clients that are a lot like me is that you cry a lot. Uh, I cry a lot. I cry every day. I really do.

Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry. Sometimes I cry because I’m happy. Sometimes I cry because I’m proud. Sometimes I just cry because I feel like I need to cry, and I have always been like this, okay, my whole life.

And you probably have been too.

And it’s really interesting to me when people cry, how so many people want to fix it. They wanna fix it, but what they don’t realize is that nothing is broken.

When I cry, nothing is broken. Nothing has gone wrong. It’s not a problem.

I also want to normalize that you’re going to feel shame and guilt when you do cry in front of other people. I do too.

Because other people don’t necessarily have the tools to handle when you’re crying.

And also you’ve probably had many experiences in your life where you’ve been told that crying is the inappropriate response. Why are you crying? There’s nothing to cry about here. Why does this make you so emotional? You shouldn’t be crying about this. This is not something to cry about.

I mean, I could go on forever, but I just wanna make a little bit of a plug for Big Girls Do Cry. And here’s why.

Big girls do cry.

Big girls do cry because we feel deeply.

Big girls do cry because we’re not afraid to feel big.

Big girls do cry because we give a shit and it’s okay that it shows.

Big girls do cry because crying is human and we are, at our core, human.

Big girls do cry because crying can be connection.

Big girls do cry because crying is a release and it’s one of the most unaggressive things you can do. I’m sure unaggressive is not a word, but it’s just not aggressive.

People will say, oh, she’s crying to be manipulative. Only if you choose to be manipulated.

It’s not manipulative to cry.

If somebody is crying and they’re crying because they know that they can get a different response from someone, does that make them wrong? I don’t know the answer to that question. I think it depends on the situation. It depends on the person. It depends which side of the story you’re telling.

But for today — and honestly for this week — I’d love you to consider the thought: Big girls do cry, and I’m proud of myself for being able to cry.

Just trying that thought on. You don’t have to say it out loud, although you can if you want to. But just live into it. Breathe into it.

Big girls do cry, and I’m okay with myself when I cry because it means that I care.

That can be such a powerful moment that you can have anytime you wanna have it.

I cry every day. If you do too, amazing. If you don’t, amazing.

If you’re not a crier and you’re listening to this going, I don’t know what’s happening here — you don’t have to worry. You don’t have to cry.

But just know that if you do, it’s not a problem.

Alright, my friend. Sending you love.

Bye for now.

@theamandahess

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