I had a life that everyone else would agree looked pretty perfect. I was married, had 2 kids, a dog, a house and a professional career. It’s just nobody really knew what happened behind closed doors.
I have always been what people would call “overly emotional”. I used to get in trouble for it at school and at home. I learned my emotions weren’t welcome, and I learned how to shove them down.
So I got to work on “fixing” myself. I started with drinking to try and cover up who I was. So I was a lot of fun in my 20’s. Until I wasn’t because you don’t tend to be “less” emotional when you are wasted.
In my 30’s I turned to the medical profession for help. I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression, prescribed SSRI’s with a handful of therapy sessions and lived like a zombie for an entire year.
But when I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I knew that things were as bad as they could possibly get. I had uncontrollable anger and I didn’t know what to do. I tried all the therapy, podcasts and books and ultimately, nothing seemed to help. Until I learned that I didn’t actually have to hate myself. It turned out my brain was working exactly the way it was supposed to. I learned how to understand my anger and give myself what I needed instead of lashing out at others.
I had a life that everyone else would agree looked pretty perfect. I was married, had 2 kids, a dog, a house and a professional career. It’s just nobody really knew what happened behind closed doors.
I have always been what people would call “overly emotional”. I used to get in trouble for it at school and at home. I learned my emotions weren’t welcome, and I learned how to shove them down.