Big Girls Do Cry

EP 298

I’m recording this one off the cuff, because it matters.

I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too.

In this episode, I talk about why crying isn’t something to fix — and why nothing has gone wrong when tears show up. We’ve been taught to feel shame or guilt when we cry, especially in front of other people, but that doesn’t mean crying is wrong. More often than not, it just means other people don’t have the tools to be with it.

This is a conversation about sensitivity, emotion, and why big girls do cry — not because we’re weak, but because we feel deeply, we care, and we’re human.

In This Episode, I Cover:

  • Why I cry every day — and why that’s not a problem
  • The shame and guilt many women feel when they cry in front of others
  • Why people try to fix crying instead of allowing it
  • How we’re taught that crying is inappropriate or “too much”
  • Why crying isn’t manipulative
  • Crying as release, connection, and a non-aggressive expression of emotion
  • A thought to try on: Big girls do cry — and I’m okay with myself when I do

A question to sit with:

What happens when I let myself cry without making it mean something has gone wrong?

You don’t need to answer it — just notice the urge to stop it, explain it, apologize for it, or judge yourself for it.
That noticing is the work.

If this episode brought up relief, resistance, or confusion, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it by yourself.

✨ Come say hi on Instagram: @theamandahess
I’d love to hear what this stirred for you — the real, unpolished version.

Work With Me

If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.
I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.

Book a discovery call here:
👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call

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If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

I’ll see you next week. 💛

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Full Episode Transcript:

Download Transcript PDF
Big Girls Do Cry — Transcript

Hey. Okay. I’m just, um, I’m gonna record this off the cuff today, and I just thought I wanna talk about it because most of my clients are like me.

And one of the things that is true for my clients that are a lot like me is that you cry a lot. Uh, I cry a lot. I cry every day. I really do.

Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry. Sometimes I cry because I’m happy. Sometimes I cry because I’m proud. Sometimes I just cry because I feel like I need to cry, and I have always been like this, okay, my whole life.

And you probably have been too.

And it’s really interesting to me when people cry, how so many people want to fix it. They wanna fix it, but what they don’t realize is that nothing is broken.

When I cry, nothing is broken. Nothing has gone wrong. It’s not a problem.

I also want to normalize that you’re going to feel shame and guilt when you do cry in front of other people. I do too.

Because other people don’t necessarily have the tools to handle when you’re crying.

And also you’ve probably had many experiences in your life where you’ve been told that crying is the inappropriate response. Why are you crying? There’s nothing to cry about here. Why does this make you so emotional? You shouldn’t be crying about this. This is not something to cry about.

I mean, I could go on forever, but I just wanna make a little bit of a plug for Big Girls Do Cry. And here’s why.

Big girls do cry.

Big girls do cry because we feel deeply.

Big girls do cry because we’re not afraid to feel big.

Big girls do cry because we give a shit and it’s okay that it shows.

Big girls do cry because crying is human and we are, at our core, human.

Big girls do cry because crying can be connection.

Big girls do cry because crying is a release and it’s one of the most unaggressive things you can do. I’m sure unaggressive is not a word, but it’s just not aggressive.

People will say, oh, she’s crying to be manipulative. Only if you choose to be manipulated.

It’s not manipulative to cry.

If somebody is crying and they’re crying because they know that they can get a different response from someone, does that make them wrong? I don’t know the answer to that question. I think it depends on the situation. It depends on the person. It depends which side of the story you’re telling.

But for today — and honestly for this week — I’d love you to consider the thought: Big girls do cry, and I’m proud of myself for being able to cry.

Just trying that thought on. You don’t have to say it out loud, although you can if you want to. But just live into it. Breathe into it.

Big girls do cry, and I’m okay with myself when I cry because it means that I care.

That can be such a powerful moment that you can have anytime you wanna have it.

I cry every day. If you do too, amazing. If you don’t, amazing.

If you’re not a crier and you’re listening to this going, I don’t know what’s happening here — you don’t have to worry. You don’t have to cry.

But just know that if you do, it’s not a problem.

Alright, my friend. Sending you love.

Bye for now.

@theamandahess

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