Why Fall Feels So Hard (and How to Let Bittersweet Through)

Bittersweet is the feeling of saying hello and goodbye at the same time, and if you’re resisting it, you’re in a lot more pain than you need to be.

In this episode I talk about the seasonal change we’re in right now, both the one happening outside your window and the one happening in your life. Kids leaving home, parents aging, friendships shifting, chapters closing before the next one has really started. I see it in my clients in their 20s who are anxious to make spring happen faster, and I see it in my clients in their 70s who have bigger things landing on their doorstep every year. Fall is the season that unsettles people the most, and I break down why, plus the two things you actually need in place to let that emotion move through you instead of running from it: a nervous system that’s regulated enough to feel safe feeling, and the skill of letting an emotion through. I also get into the difference between distracting and grounding, because the activity can look exactly the same and the intention changes everything.

I recorded this one a few weeks after driving to my skating competition with the low October sun coming through the window and the leaves starting to turn, and it hit me right in the chest. My mom passed away in August years ago, and that first fall without Sunday dinners at her house is still in my body every October. This is also the season my friend is in right now with one kid in university and one in grade 12, feeling anxious and depressed at the same time and wondering what’s wrong with her. Nothing is wrong with her. That’s bittersweet, and you can learn to hold it.

Key Takeaways:

Bittersweet is one of the most painful emotions to resist because resisting it means resisting what’s really happening.

You are not wallowing. You’re struggling with how to process an emotion nobody ever taught you to process.

Distracting and grounding can look like the exact same activity. The intention is what makes it one or the other.

Growing your capacity for emotion is not optional as you get older. Bigger life things show up, and you need to be able to hold them.

Once you know how to let an emotion through, it’s just reps. But learning the skill is hard to do alone.

Emotional confidence around things ending is what lets you relax into a fall season knowing spring is coming.

If this is landing for you, book a discovery call with me. Learning the difference between distracting and grounding, and feeling safe while an emotion is moving through you, is exactly what I teach, and it is so much easier with someone doing it alongside you.

Links referenced in this episode:

The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin

Book a free discovery call: amandahess.ca/bookacall